Did you know Jesus founded the NRA because he needed protection?

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Cross gun man

What kind of god is this?

Some of the worst blather out there on the Newtown shooting is coming from the “religious.” Evangelical radio host Bryan Fischer told his listeners on Friday,

Here’s the bottom line — God is not going to go where He is not wanted. We kicked God out of our public school system. I think God would say to us, hey, I would be glad to protect your children, but you gotta invite me back into your world first. I’m not going to go where I’m not wanted. I am a gentleman… Back when we had prayer, the Bible and the Ten Commandments in schools, we did not need guns.

Wow. I didn’t learn about god from those felt story boards at bible school, but even a heathen like me knows that god isn’t supposed to need an invitation—isn’t he supposed to be everywhere? Do godly children not bring him to school with them everyday? Some even pray at school (and they’re allowed to, even!) I’ve SEEN IT!

What has happened to your god?? Now Jesus loves war and guns, and his dad is too polite to go into a kindergarten classroom? His feelings are hurt because he wasn’t invited? Or he’s vindictively withholding himself? At least he’s a gentleman, phew.

I always heard that god is loving and all-powerful. But perhaps these evangelical media personalities don’t want their followers to believe in that version of god anymore, ‘cuz then who’d need Bryan Fischer, Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, etc. ad nauseum?

Mi Esposa reminded me of one of U2’s lines:

Stop helpin’ god across the road like a little old lady

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