Leave-iticus

Standard

20121209-093441.jpg

 

SHAMEFUL DISCLAIMER: I did not write this post, and I truly intended to credit the author, but forgot. Now when I tried every google combo I could to find the original I couldn’t find it. I’m not a thief, I swear. I apologize to the author of this, and if anyone knows who that is please send me a comment.

Levit-alone-icus

When citing Leviticus and other scripture to justify gay-hate, let us not forget the other equally serious sins laid out in that infallible book!

By now we’re all familiar with this christian favorite on HOMOSEXUALITY: “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” —Leviticus 20:13.

For those who dutifully follow every rule in that BOOK, don’t forget these!

1. No Free Speech: “He who blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him (Lev. 24:16)

2. No Bacon For You: “And the swine, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chew the cud, is unclean to you. Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch; they are unclean to you.” (Lev. 11:7–8)

3. Blood, Sacrifice, Burn: to atone for sins, the priest must kill a bull, gut it, then burn it on an altar. (Lev. 4:1–10)
[NOTE: The first several chapters of Leviticus are devoted to mandatory animal sacrifices, such as the wringing of turtledoves’ necks, the cutting open of goats and bulls, and the vivisection of female lambs, for various sins.]

4. God loves Slavery: feel free to buy, sell and trade slaves, they are your property. “You may bequeath them to your sons after you, to inherit as a Possession for ever.” (Lev. 25:44–46)

5. Uh oh Obesity Epidemic: “It shall be a perpetual statute throughout Your generations, in all your dwelling places, that you eat neither fat nor blood.” (Lev. 3:17)

6. No Mullets For You: “You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.” (Lev. 19:27)

7. Put That Shellfish On the Shelf: “Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the rivers that has not fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is an abomination to you.” (Lev. 11:9–12)

8. Firing Squad or Guillotine?: “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death.” (Lev. 20:10)

9. No Wonder Teapublicans Voted Doen UN Treaty on People With Disabilities:

“For no one who has a blemish shall draw near, a man blind or lame, or who has a mutilated face or a limb too long, or a man who has an injured foot or an injured hand, or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or a man with a defect in his sights or an itching disease or scabs or crushed testicles; no man of the descendants of Aaron the priest who has a blemish shall come near to offer the Lord’s offerings by fire; since he has a blemish, he shall not come near to offer the bread of his God…He shall not come near the veil or approach the altar, because he has a blemish, that he may not profane my sanctuaries…” (Lev. 21:18–23)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s